Written By Ben Vest
Dearly departed, we’re gathered here today… “Why’d we come here? We have to pay?”- asks Blue. I replied, -“Does it matter? What’s the rush?” “Yes, pointless chatter! And I skipped lunch!”- -“I’m sure there’s a platter, something to munch.” “Yep, cheese and finger meats, with those pointy chewable sticks.”- -“Oh please, I’m sure there’s other treats. But not those toothpicks.” Blue takes a mouthful of meat and mumbles: “So,what’s in the box?” - -“A dead person, now hush.” “But what he do?” - as he continues to chew. -“SSH listen to what the preacher guy’s gotta say…” “Who was he to you?”- -“I don’t fucking know, accidental crush?” As Blue imagines the guy getting run over by a tractor, squeezed out like toothpaste from a trash compactor, even fallen pianos could play a factor, as his bulge bursts out with laughter! “Was he a fool? Swan diving into an empty pool? Flattened by one of those big construction tools? Turned into a ghoul? Or like a Jekyll Hyde kinda cruel?” As Blue explains with his word games. Not that he could hear me over his chuckling so I asked again. -“what’s so funny Mr. Blue guy?” “Nothing, can I see the body?” - -“Not much to see now, but why?” “I wanna see if he’s still gummy.” -“I had to ask…” as I sighed. “Oh come on it’ll be funny!” - I just rolled my eyes, As bile churned my tummy. Blue ran up, lifts the lid of the casket, face turns pale, turns to vomit. Not expecting what he was seeing, all over, slimy excrement. Like how’d someone get all that jelly into a suit?! Syringe? Needles? Turkey baster? Why waste the money on clothes for someone who’s made out of honey? He was right, guy was still quite runny.
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