Aim

By Lee Todd Lacks

When I was younger,
I took some dangerous risks
I hooked up with girls who tended to be
ten or twelve years older than me
big beautiful girls with beautiful hearts
they showed me all their feminine wonders
when I knew next to nothing
when I was young and desperate for experience
and they were seeking a forever someone
but I was too selfish to know that then
hooking up was just a game
and every girl was just the same
lonely with their biological clocks
ringing in their ears
trying to hide their tears
reluctantly accommodating when they
let me whip their rears
public housing and homemade soup
kissing on the front porch stoop,
baby powder and ample hips
modest dresses and linen slips
sensible shoes and pantyhose
menstrual blues and painted toes
they never judged, they never blamed
they never made me feel ashamed
even though they had the right
when I would text them late at night
"You wanna meet at Sligo's Bar?"
they knew I didn't have a car
because they knew I couldn't see
and yet, they saw some good in me
Terri was all nice and soft
Andrea had a one-room loft
Brenda still lived with her Momma
who had survived all kinds of trauma
I can still hear Debbie plead
"I could give you what you need."
as I was walking out the door
like she was nothing but a whore
but even I could feel her pain
as I was waiting for the train
if only I could go back in time
I would atone for every crime
I would try to calm their fears
even as I whipped their rears
I would hug them when they got weepy
and snuggle with them when they got sleepy
I would let them know I care
when I saw them in their underwear
I'd put my head beneath their skirts
mend their hearts and heal their hurts
I would tell them that I love them, then,
and be the man I should have been.

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