SLAWITS MOST FAMOUS PORK PIE SHOP

By Martin Forster

THERE ALL STANDING OUTSIDE SHOP FORMING AN ORDERLY QUEUE
 AS THE MAN FROM VAN COMES ON INTO VIEW
 BIG TRAYS OF PORK PIES STACKED NEATLY ON HIGH
 'HURRY UP BIG AL' HUNGRILY THEY CRY
 LICKING THEIR LIPS AT THE MOUTHWATERING THOUGHT
 SOON THEM TRAYS 'ILL BE EMPTY AND BOUGHT
 REMEMBERING LAST WEEKS DELIVERY AND THE JUICES THAT FLOW
 AND ALL OF THEM PORK PIES NOW STACKED NEATLY ROW UPON ROW
 SO SIZE OF 'EM GO FROM HALF POUND ON UP TO TWO
 AS BIG AL SHOUTS TO THEM ALL, ' MAKE WAY, IT'S BIG AL' I'M COMING THRU'
 SO RESPECTFUL OF BIG AL, ALL THE VILLAGE WOULD STAND IN AWE
 AN' ONE OR TWO LASSES BOLD AS BRASS, WOULD WHISTLE AND SHOUT ON BACK, 'COR'
 'THERE'S GOT A RIGHT BIG 'UN THERE ALAN M' DEAR '
 'AYE AN' IT BELONGS TO OUR LASS, THA'S LOT HAS NOWT T, FEAR'
 WELL PORK PIE IS A VALUABLE COMMODITY .ERE ON A SATURDAY MORN
 AS THEY BITE THRU' CRUMBLY PASTRY SO SOFT AN' EASILY TORN
 H'MMM THEM JUICES THAT SLITHER AND SLIDE DOWN YON PERSONS CHIN
 Y'LL NOTICE MOST OFF PAULS CUSTOMERS ARE FAT AN' NOT MUCH THIN
 AN' NO SUCH SAUCE IS NEEDED FOR YORKSHIRES MOST FINEST PORK PIE
 ' I'LL HAVE ONE MORE T' TAKE HOME, BEGGINGLY THEY CRY '
 WELL AT THREPENCE H ' PENNY, PAUL SES 'THERE AS CHEAP AS CHIPS'
 AS BOB THE POSTMAN BITES HOLE IN TOP, AN' SLOWLY VERY SLOWLY SIPS
 'MMM ALL OF THEM JUICES SLOWLY SLIDE DOWN BOBS THIRSTY THROAT
 NOW FORGOTTEN ALL THEM LETTERS WOT HE'D NEVER WROTE
 STILL INT' UNIFORM, ' AS HE'D JUST FINISHED THE MORNING SHIFT
 AS HE SAYS TO YON LASSIE (IRENE'S HER NAME) ' DOES THA' FANCY A LIFT '
 AYE HE'D FANCIED HER NOW FOR MORE THAN A YEAR
 AN' HE KNEW OTHER GIRLS WOULD NOW SHED A TEAR
 ' COS BOB WAS SINGLE,AYE SINGLE AN' HE CAME FROM A FAMILY, BIG,
 SON OF PAUL HIS FATHER THE BUTCHER OF TOUPE AND WIG
 BUT WHERE'S THERE SEED TO BE SOWN IF BOBS OWT LIKE PAUL
 THEN LUCKY LASS 'D HAVE KIDS AND DOZENS AND ALL
 SO DAD SES T' YOUNG BOB ' YE BRING YON LASS AROUN' FOR TEA,
 WE'LL SIT DOWN AND TALK, YOU, LASS AND MOTHER AND ME '
 LATER ON AND SHOP IS SHUT UP FOR REST A T'DAY
 DAD OPENED UP BUT MOTHER INSISTED,'SHUSH FIRST I'LL HAVE ME SAY '
 'NOW LISSEN HERE, YOUNG BOB HERE'S A LASS WHO'S GOOD AN' TRUE '
 YOU PROPOSE AND WE'LL SE YE' ALRITE,AN, HUNDRD QUID TO CARRY Y' THRU '
 SO'S BEST DINNER SERVICE IS LAID OUT INT' BEST FRONT ROOM
 AN' BOB AN' HIS FIANCE SOON BECOME BRIDE AN' GROOM
 SO'S MORAL OF THA' STORY IS IF YE WONT AN HUSBAND OR WIFE
 TAKE HOME PAULS PORK PIES AND NE'ER EVER CUT 'EM WITH A KNIFE
 FOR ALL THAT'S CONTAINED IN 'EM IS BEST JUST T' BITE INTA
 AN EATEN ALL YEAR LONG, NOT JUST AUTUMN OR WINTA'
 SO THAT'S HOW ALL VILLAGE GOT TO KNOW HOW BOB GOT HIS WIFE,
 AS IN EVERY BUTCHERS, WE ALL KNOW THAT GOSSIP IS RIFE.
 MANY THANKS TO THE HUMBLE PORK PIE

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